RISC OS is we!	Issue #7749, September 7, 2010, 5:52 pm
Home Site news News stories About Staff/Contact Links Staff log in	HANDS-ON: NEW PERCENTIUM 4 WEARABLE COMPUTER     Yes - you heard right - we have got our hands on one of the brand new Untel Percentium 4 wearable computers. This new breed of computers promises to change the way we work forever...     Having unpacked the machine, we dove straight into the manual. It is very well written, consisting of numerous step-by-step guides covering everything from which part of your body goes in which hole to what to do if you find yourself to be inadequate and can't keep up with the computer. Unfortunately though it's all written in American, so you'd best have a dictionary handy if you want it in English.     'But what's the machine like?' I hear you cry. Here's the lowdown: A pair of 'data gloves' to act as your keyboard and mouse, complete with Direct Neurosis technology for ultra-realistic force feedback A headset with 300W surround sound speakers and a hi-res laser based display unit - why bother projecting the image onto glasses when you can burn it straight into your retina? A discrete backpack containing the bulk of the computer. The cooling fan can also double as a lawnmower, or, if you bought the heatsink version, a toaster.     Having fitted the system to ourselves, we turned it on and waited for it to boot up. A familiar Bindows desktop soon appeared, and we were under way. Although at first it seemed daunting, we soon got used to the system. A quick gesture here and a motion there is all that's needed to operate the system. Be warned though - some of the default commands could appear rather offensive if performed infront of women or children. The system is remarkably comfortable to use - unlike other alternatives, you will soon block out the pain from the constant weight on your shoulders. Most people don't even notice the bruises, raw skin or bleeding eyes as you walk down the street - it's immediately obvious how much time, money, and thought has gone into its design.     'So what kinda things can you do with it?' Well, if Piccard Hell continue to make great computers like this, it'll soon be quicker to just list the things it can't do. In the few days we've had it though, we've managed to do everything we can with a normal PC (but while on the move), plus... Use its face recognition features to remind us of the names of our girlfriend's parents (And the name of the girlfriend, for that matter) Use the built-in breathalyzer and blood alcohol monitor to have drinking contests Stick live videos of our daily lives on the net for all to see, using the built in mobile phone/modem Do far more interesting things while sat in boring meetings     The only problem we've found while using the system is the following: Hardware conflicts hurt. Really bad. Remember fixing hardware conflicts in Bindows 95BC? Well now it's ten times worse. The machine needs to be set up differently for each person, otherwise the various types of radiation produced by the system will bounce around inside the users skull, and build up standing waves which amplify the signals, totally drowning out the users normal brain waves. This causes irratic behaviour and a hypnotic trance, where users are compelled to give all their money to capitalist software companies who systematically try to trademark every word in the dictionary. Luckily a sharp jab in the reset switch soon sorts them out.     Blinding pain or not, the system still gets a definite thumbs up from us. With all that for just £9999, there's nothing stopping you. Story by Jeffrey Lee			Latest stories: Castle Technology in Omega sabotage shocker! MicroDigital invent chipless motherboard! New Portable Is Finally Here Hands-on: New Percentium 4 wearable computer RISC OS on TV (#1 - Buffy) Downfall of Acorn attributed to global increase in nut allergies ArgoNet staff arrested - ISP to close

RISC OS is we! - stagnating with the best of them.